There is always something to be grateful for...

I just read a friends blog (spilledmilkandmascara via Wordpress) as I literally got done crying in my car on my lunch break over things that are rough at the moment. I'm not going to lie this month financially was tougher than others have been this year.. And in two weeks I'll be out of work for two months. So I am a little overwhelmed and feeling all of what I lack currently in life.& that's not me. In my moment of crying and being frustrated I thought to myself, "I am someone who who helps people in these situations." And then more tears came. 

Going back and forth with positive thoughts then negative thoughts and things I should be grateful for, clothes on my back, car, and clean water to drink... My mind still filled up with lack, what I do not have in this moment, what is causing me stress in this moment. 

I picked up the closest book to me in my car and opened it to a page.. Where there just so happened to be a prayer.. That read...

Dear God,

I know that you are bigger than my business/financial problems, but by myself I cannot fix this. 

Please guide my thinking, open my heart and send me a miracle.

Amen

I felt a little better after reading that.. And then seeing her blog 52 weeks of gratitude minutes after. She issued herself a challenge to share what she is grateful for for 52 weeks. In this moment I had to stop myself and say I have so much to be grateful for. Regardless of what my current circumstances are I know they are very very temporary. This is a good moment for me to not forget why remaining grateful in tougher times is so important. This will pass, this has no reflection on who I am and at some point everyone goes through it. 

So even though I'm feeling pretty damn shitty.. 

Here are some things I would like to thank God for.

My outstanding health, thank you God. 

My home, thank you God. 

My supportive family, thank you God.

My supportive boyfriend, thank you God.

My jobs, thank you God! 

My supportive friends, thank you God.

My bed, toothbrush, hot showers, thank you God.

All of my material possessions, clothes, shoes, make up. Thank you God! 

Paying all of my bills on time, thank you God!

My ability to see, taste, touch, hear and smell. Thank you God!

For all of the people who watch and support my YouTube channel and allow me to inspire them, thank you God. 

My books, thank you God!

For all new experiences that will allow me to grow, learn and prosper. Thank you God! 

There is always something to be grateful for. No matter what you are in the middle of. 

Xo

-Vanessa 

#DearMe ….

I saw this going around on youtube for international women's day and although I don't have time to film a video I love this concept. What advice would I have given my younger self or what wisdom would I share.. Well here is goes.

Dear Me,

  At this time in your life it feels like it is going to stay like this forever. The acne, the crush that never likes you back, the weight and low self esteem. You are not ugly. Stop asking God "why am I so ugly".. open your eyes and embrace yourself. Those girls that call you names and bark at you while you walk the hallways to your class will soon disappear and not phase you at all. You will grow into a beautiful woman and flourish beyond your current imagination. I know this seems weird and out of reach, but you will become someone you love. "What other people think of you is none of your business" Right now your only job in your life is to focus on yourself and what you want to become in this world. Leave the drama, leave the bad friends, the bad boyfriends and the things that don't make you happy. Seems hard? I know. Learn your worth. I know this is something you struggle with not feeling like you are worthy of good things or as if good things won't happen to you. These are the things you need to snap out of and push through. Don't worry, every pimple, every scar, every heartbreak every loss will sooner than later become something of the past, something you can look back at and laugh. Don't doubt yourself, your beauty and your worth. Everyday is an opportunity so with all thats going on in your mind good and bad don't miss out on the things that matter for the things that don't.

Take it from me. I know who you will become.

xo

_Vanessa

I struggled a lot growing up with self-esteem and knowing my place in this world, knowing my worth and not knowing if I would turn out okay. I haven't reached all my goals but I've reached a point where I am so proud of who I am becoming. & who I am becoming is beyond what I had imagined myself to be at the age of 12-13 years old.

To all the girls who are going through this now not feeling like they will be pretty enough, or worthy enough of good things stop yourself and know that many of us women have been where you are today. and many of us couldn't picture calling ourselves beautiful or happy.. & ill speak for myself when I say I was so wrong.

How to Avoid Gaining Relationship Weight...

I wanted to talk about this because in the past I have always been one of those people that gains the 20+ pounds of relationship weight which also contributed to my "yo-yo dieting" & now that I have finally hit a point where I am fed up with yo-yo dieting or my weight constantly going up and down I'm now in a position where I'm losing weight in my relationship.
I talk in detail on my youtube channel on how difficult its been for me to lose weight this past year due to some hormone imbalances and It took me FOREVER to figure out the problem. However, Ill keep this post on topic.

Tip one: When you start dating someone focus on yourself and the goals you have set. Although, this person likes you how you are upon meeting you realize its still about YOU and what YOU want for your self.
- In the past I've never compromised myself or changed my likes or dislikes for a person. But I have allowed myself to forget about the goals I had set for myself or fall of track with what I was doing prior to meeting that person. So don't become so consumed with what THEY are doing and make sure you are still doing what makes you feel best.

Tip two: Express your eating habits to the person you're with and make sure they understand.
- From my experience the men I have previously dated don't eat healthy ever. and don't like healthy food. Men and women have different bodies a man can eat whatever he wants, work out and never gain a pound. Women.. well some of us can gain 10 pounds in a week. Set boundaries for how many times you go out to eat a month. I've never lived with a significant other before, but if you're in control of the kitchen and cooking give him a designated spot for his snacks.. a SMALL spot and have your lunch and dinner ready. If he understands you're serious and you are sticking to your habit he'll respect and encourage it. (I'm grateful to have that now)

Tip three: Have a list of place you absolutely WILL NOT EAT just so your partner knows.
- for me I will not eat any fast food at all. If it has a drive through there is no compromise.

Tip four: Implement a workout system together, share your progress and goals with one another.
- I've found that expressing my goals in a relationship helps the person get on board with you. Maybe they won't eat salads for dinner with you but they'll encourage you to keep it up! Its also a way to bond, nothing is better than the person you're with noticing a positive change in you.

Tip five: Always always always want to make a healthy change to a healthier lifestyle for yourself. It should never be about the other person.
- I use to stress so much if I was getting too big for someone or if I could be more attractive. Now I just look at myself and say "I can do better, I want better." I CAN and I WANT are the key words.

In the end your significant other will appreciate the change in confidence. If you aren't happy with yourself I feel that it could cause unnecessary problems in a relationship. I'm speaking for myself when I say you look in the mirror and don't even like yourself that causes you to feel ugly, unwanted, unworthy and those are such negative feelings to have. Having confidence in your body and overall appearance with lead to dressing better, feeling better, knowing you're worthy and loved.


I can touch base more on my yoyo dieting experiences in the past and losing weight.

xo.

- Vanessa