Lessons from the heart: Falling in love

A lot of people are afraid to fall in love. For some it's because they have been hurt and don't want to be hurt again. For others it's because they don't know what it feels like, they haven't experienced it nor have they given it. Whatever the reason is for you it is probably valid. However, it can harm your entire relationship with the person you are with and with yourself.

I'm not an expert by any means, However, During a conversation with a close friend who said she is afraid of falling in love this was my response. This was the only response I had for her. My response truly surprised be because I'm not even sure where this came from.

"Don't be scared. He can be the one, he can be the one for right now or he can be the one preparing your For THE ONE. It's okay to fall in love. It's the easiest thing to do. No matter what happens together or a part it will happen again. The best part about that is we learn, how we want to be loved and we learn to love the right way. Those are lessons from the heart girlfriend, probably some of the most important ones I've learned in my life."

This stunned me a lot because I have never realized how many times I have loved someone. Sometimes love makes me really uncomfortable and I am definitely not someone who is obsessed with falling in love. Yet, falling in love with someone is truly the easiest thing to do. Whether it is a significant other or even a friend. We're suppose to do this.

I can see where it's scary to all of the sudden get the urge to say I love you to someone who hasn't yet expressed it to you. I can see how its scary to think of all the things that can go wrong if you allow yourself to love someone. Allowing someone to love you can also be a scary thing.

For me personally, I'm not afraid to love you. I'm more afraid to let you love me. Perhaps it's because I don't always love myself and I fear the flaws I see you will begin to see. In result to that it will get harder and harder for you (whoever you end up being) to love me. That is my fear with love. Then I read the words and advice I give to a friend and ask myself, "how can I apply this to my life?" If it's the easiest thing to fall in love? Shouldn't it be the easiest thing to let someone love you? Probably so.

Of course that comes from some deep rooted issues I haven't yet pinpointed yet. That's a topic for another time.

I have been on one side where I had my heart shattered and I've been on the other where I know I hurt someone else's heart. Neither side is the good side. There is no strong side there is no weak side. To love is truly the easiest thing. To allow yourself to be loved is slightly more challenging. We give love so freely; but for some reason we do not accept it as freely. 

Just some random thoughts! Hope you enjoy. 

How to interview for a job and GET the job!

Hey Everyone

I wanted to share these tips on how to go on a job interview but how to land the job. Now these tips will help you interview better and increase your chances of getting the job. And if you don't get the job it is possible the company likes you, however, they went with someone more experience.

A little background of myself I have had about 21 jobs since I was 15. That seems like a lot but I was young and moved around; but I also was always looking for a better opportunity, and I also worked 3 jobs at once before. I have been on 23 interviews and landed 21 of those jobs… How? From 15-25 I am going to share my tips. 

lets get started.

For the experienced workers and non experienced workers always research the position and pay attention to the requirements of the job. A lot of companies tell you what they are expecting from their employer. Whether it is computer skills or being able to lift 20 pounds. Make sure you know. Try to apply for something you know you can do 100% or something you know you can learn. 

If you are inexperienced CONFIDENCE IS KEY! When I haven't worked in a particular job before the number one thing I say in an interview or cover letter is "I AM A QUICK LEARNER" thats all they need to know. And I always have reasons and experiences to back up that statement. For example, when I was a server I had never really been a real waitress before and its hard to get a waitress position without having the experience. I let my soon to be boss at the time know that I am a very quick learner and work well in fast pace environments; because when I worked at chuck E cheese I had to host several birthday parties a day and managed several at a time and thats how I learned the basics of serving and multi tasking. 

So that is TIP NUMBER ONE: Know the requirements and know that you are able to meet those requirements. (side note: if a job post says a requirment is to be bi lingual and you aren't do not go for that job) 

BE 20 MINUTES EARLY to your interview. 

Just in case there is traffic or you need to find a parking spot that gives you 10 minutes for that. and I always walk in 10 minutes early. 

How to dress: 

People have different opinions on this but what has worked for me is dressing for the job I'm applying for. No you can never go wrong with being overdressed with slacks, nice blouse, and blazer with flats or heels. But I have learned being overly dressed for a retail interview for a clothing store is unnecessary. They want to see your personality and that you will be able to meet and keep up with the stores trends. Be clean, neat and more on the professional side but show your style a little. If you are applying for a server position depending on the type of restaurant will determine your attire.. high end steak house I would wear the slacks and the blazer for a bar I would wear some nice dark jeans, heels and a cute blouse. Legal, medical offices is never okay to wear jeans always go for a long skirt, blouse, blazer or slacks with a mid heel or flats.  I hope you get the point on this. 

TIP TWO: Dress to impress for what fits the position Just keep it professional. 

Body language is EVERYTHING!!!

People can tell when you are bullshitting them. Lets be real. Your posture and body language will tell them everything they need to know before you even open your mouth. Remember they are viewing you as someone who is representing them and their company. Open body language and being welcoming will make them comfortable sitting with you and getting an idea on how you will be as their employee. So smile, sit up straight with confidence, and make eye contact. I talk with my hands and that is just my personality but I feel that makes me more animated and for some reason I think that works for me. If you are in a group interview pay attention to everyone speaking and keep your body language at all times. 

TIP THREE: Make sure you have an open body language and show you are confident that you can fulfill their needs. 

Be who you are don't put up a front.

We go to interviews to show the best version of ourselves not to pretend we are this perfect person. We have flaws they know that. Do not make yourself sound like something you are not and/or something you know you won't be. Because I've known of people who have either been fired days after being hired and/or quit because they lied about what they can do and couldn't uphold who they said they are. 

A lot of the time employers will ask what is your weakness.. think of one thing you have a hard time with that you can turn into a positive. Example, "Sometimes I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like things to be done perfectly, I am working on making sure I do things efficiently but that I am not too hard on myself at the same time. Do not say you have a problem with procrastinating and are learning to be on time. That won't end well. At the end of the day they want to see your personality shine and how you will work well with others or in some cases by yourself. BE EXCITED about what you know you can do, what you have achieved with a  previous postion and make them see that. Also, if they ask you why you are leaving your current employment if you are currently employed and its because you just hate your job DO NOT BAD MOUTH ANOTHER COMPANY! Just say you are looking for an opportunity where you can grow and learn more. Simple and also makes you look good. 

TIP FOUR: BE WHO YOU ARE! 

Always have your resume on hand. 

I have forgotten a few times and luckily it still worked out in my favor. Its a good thing to have on hand to refer to with the company if needed. 

THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWER QUESTIONS.

don't just blurt out what you think they want to hear. have a calm voice.

Ask questions

What would the hours be? How many hours are they looking to give to someone? anything you think is important to know. I personally do not like to ask "when will i hear from you?" or "what is the salary?" I wait until I'm hired. 

Send a follow up later after your interview

Thanking the person for meeting with you. 

Then you wait.

You pat yourself on the back, grab a starbucks and go on with your day and wait for a call.

If you don't get the job it simply wasn't meant to be. 

hope this helps you go getters out there who struggle with interviews.

xo-

Vanessa 

The cycle of Depression & Overcoming it.

I think I deleted my very first post on depression I had been dealing with when I was about 20 years old. By the time I was 21 I had pretty much centered my mind and come out of it. I was pretty happy and positive for a while. Then at some point maybe about a year or two ago I find myself going in and out of this depression. I ask myself how I go from this happy, energetic and loving person. To this bitter, down, self conscious and unhappy person. It has nothing to do with the people in my life.. that I know. So what is it?

I am still not entirely sure. But I know this is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. I want to be the positive optimistic anything is possible always grateful person I once was. But how?

Depression hinders a lot. Although, it may seem like an excuse or something you can easily get over its not. Holding your breath randomly throughout the day and having to remind yourself to breath is also a part of anxiety that comes with depression. That is something I do often. I'm finding that I stress eat causing me to gain wait and preventing me from being the positive health role model I aspire to be. Reality is sometimes I have my life together and when I'm happy I AM HEALTHY; and other times I do not have my life together. Therefore, I am stressed and I eat things I know will not add to the wellbeing of my body.. not to mention the ridiculous weight gain. I lose interest in things that typically interest me. Such as, creating youtube videos, dressing cute and also posting those, taking selfies, experimenting with make up, experimenting in the kitchen, going out with friends and much more. I just feel like doing nothing. I find myself making excuses for myself. Although, I know I know better.

How do I plan on overcoming this..?

First, I plan on taking a social break. Limiting going out and putting my face into some uplifting books. Practicing eating control and healthy habits along with practicing gratitude. I know this is easier said than done. But the last time I took a break from people and really just took time to myself I came out of it the most positive version of myself. Ultimately, thats who I want to be all the time.

For any of you feeling lack of motivation and depressed feel free to comment any suggestions on what has worked for you. I am definitely interested in hearing your thoughts.

xo

- Vanessa

Slim down series: veggies soup!

This is my favorite way to kick start my diet. Still giving my body food and making my stomach less puffy. This works for me and I'm just sharing what I like to do. Please check with your doctor before starting any new diet plan.

Veggie soup!

Ingredients 

Celery- half stock 

Carrots- half bag organic carrots about 4-5 carrots peeled 

Zucchini- 2 chopped 

Half yellow onion 

-coconut oil (table spoon at bottom of pan)

Himalayan pink salt to taste 

Pepper to taste and Cheyanne pepper to taste.

Low sodium organic vegetable brother 2 cartons (shown in video) 

Chop up all ingredients and let heat up on low in the pan as you chop. I find it adds more flavor to the soup. 

Add some of your salt and pepper 

Then add 2 cartons of your vegetable broth 

Bring to a light boil and you are done!!!

Cooks for about 30-40 min depending how did you like your veggies.

I like to add lemon to my soup per serving.

This amount typically last me 3 days. 

I like to have in addition to a light salad.

But on "detox days" I just have two bowls lunch and dinner. Feel free to add chicken or any other veggies you like. 

Hope you enjoy. Xo

SlimDownSeries: Essentials

Here are some links to things I find are needed to jump start and follow along with me. 

I have purchased all of these Items myself and feel that they work best for me. 

so far I love my new scale and ill be giving you guys my first weigh in next week. 

Essentials

Number 1. Reliable scale. Body fat on a scale isn't always accurate so I wouldn't worry too much about that. but having a scale that will give you consistent readings is important and not change based on how you lean or stand. 

Health-o meter professional body fat scale here

Match green tea or oolong tea. I've mentioned this plenty of times that I noticed a big difference while drinking tea. Helps speed up the metabolism and release fat from the body.

Monkey picked oolong is sold at teavana stores if you have on near you. 

Monkey Picked Oolong here

Matcha green tea is also sold at teavana stores if you have one near you.

Matcha green tea has vitamin C, A, K, E b12 and b12 complex. the number one part of the body it helps burn fat from in the stomach.

Matcha green tea here

Regular Green tea

Green tea

Water container. I always use BPA free if I am not using a water bottle. This is easier to refill. 

Water container

This is just the start. 

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist or professional. I share my experiences and knowledge I have gained through my own personal trial and error. I like these things and keep them in my day to day life. I am just here to share with those who are looking for something new.

can't wait to share more. xo 

vanessa. 

There is always something to be grateful for...

I just read a friends blog (spilledmilkandmascara via Wordpress) as I literally got done crying in my car on my lunch break over things that are rough at the moment. I'm not going to lie this month financially was tougher than others have been this year.. And in two weeks I'll be out of work for two months. So I am a little overwhelmed and feeling all of what I lack currently in life.& that's not me. In my moment of crying and being frustrated I thought to myself, "I am someone who who helps people in these situations." And then more tears came. 

Going back and forth with positive thoughts then negative thoughts and things I should be grateful for, clothes on my back, car, and clean water to drink... My mind still filled up with lack, what I do not have in this moment, what is causing me stress in this moment. 

I picked up the closest book to me in my car and opened it to a page.. Where there just so happened to be a prayer.. That read...

Dear God,

I know that you are bigger than my business/financial problems, but by myself I cannot fix this. 

Please guide my thinking, open my heart and send me a miracle.

Amen

I felt a little better after reading that.. And then seeing her blog 52 weeks of gratitude minutes after. She issued herself a challenge to share what she is grateful for for 52 weeks. In this moment I had to stop myself and say I have so much to be grateful for. Regardless of what my current circumstances are I know they are very very temporary. This is a good moment for me to not forget why remaining grateful in tougher times is so important. This will pass, this has no reflection on who I am and at some point everyone goes through it. 

So even though I'm feeling pretty damn shitty.. 

Here are some things I would like to thank God for.

My outstanding health, thank you God. 

My home, thank you God. 

My supportive family, thank you God.

My supportive boyfriend, thank you God.

My jobs, thank you God! 

My supportive friends, thank you God.

My bed, toothbrush, hot showers, thank you God.

All of my material possessions, clothes, shoes, make up. Thank you God! 

Paying all of my bills on time, thank you God!

My ability to see, taste, touch, hear and smell. Thank you God!

For all of the people who watch and support my YouTube channel and allow me to inspire them, thank you God. 

My books, thank you God!

For all new experiences that will allow me to grow, learn and prosper. Thank you God! 

There is always something to be grateful for. No matter what you are in the middle of. 

Xo

-Vanessa 

#DearMe ….

I saw this going around on youtube for international women's day and although I don't have time to film a video I love this concept. What advice would I have given my younger self or what wisdom would I share.. Well here is goes.

Dear Me,

  At this time in your life it feels like it is going to stay like this forever. The acne, the crush that never likes you back, the weight and low self esteem. You are not ugly. Stop asking God "why am I so ugly".. open your eyes and embrace yourself. Those girls that call you names and bark at you while you walk the hallways to your class will soon disappear and not phase you at all. You will grow into a beautiful woman and flourish beyond your current imagination. I know this seems weird and out of reach, but you will become someone you love. "What other people think of you is none of your business" Right now your only job in your life is to focus on yourself and what you want to become in this world. Leave the drama, leave the bad friends, the bad boyfriends and the things that don't make you happy. Seems hard? I know. Learn your worth. I know this is something you struggle with not feeling like you are worthy of good things or as if good things won't happen to you. These are the things you need to snap out of and push through. Don't worry, every pimple, every scar, every heartbreak every loss will sooner than later become something of the past, something you can look back at and laugh. Don't doubt yourself, your beauty and your worth. Everyday is an opportunity so with all thats going on in your mind good and bad don't miss out on the things that matter for the things that don't.

Take it from me. I know who you will become.

xo

_Vanessa

I struggled a lot growing up with self-esteem and knowing my place in this world, knowing my worth and not knowing if I would turn out okay. I haven't reached all my goals but I've reached a point where I am so proud of who I am becoming. & who I am becoming is beyond what I had imagined myself to be at the age of 12-13 years old.

To all the girls who are going through this now not feeling like they will be pretty enough, or worthy enough of good things stop yourself and know that many of us women have been where you are today. and many of us couldn't picture calling ourselves beautiful or happy.. & ill speak for myself when I say I was so wrong.