The cycle of Depression & Overcoming it.

I think I deleted my very first post on depression I had been dealing with when I was about 20 years old. By the time I was 21 I had pretty much centered my mind and come out of it. I was pretty happy and positive for a while. Then at some point maybe about a year or two ago I find myself going in and out of this depression. I ask myself how I go from this happy, energetic and loving person. To this bitter, down, self conscious and unhappy person. It has nothing to do with the people in my life.. that I know. So what is it?

I am still not entirely sure. But I know this is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. I want to be the positive optimistic anything is possible always grateful person I once was. But how?

Depression hinders a lot. Although, it may seem like an excuse or something you can easily get over its not. Holding your breath randomly throughout the day and having to remind yourself to breath is also a part of anxiety that comes with depression. That is something I do often. I'm finding that I stress eat causing me to gain wait and preventing me from being the positive health role model I aspire to be. Reality is sometimes I have my life together and when I'm happy I AM HEALTHY; and other times I do not have my life together. Therefore, I am stressed and I eat things I know will not add to the wellbeing of my body.. not to mention the ridiculous weight gain. I lose interest in things that typically interest me. Such as, creating youtube videos, dressing cute and also posting those, taking selfies, experimenting with make up, experimenting in the kitchen, going out with friends and much more. I just feel like doing nothing. I find myself making excuses for myself. Although, I know I know better.

How do I plan on overcoming this..?

First, I plan on taking a social break. Limiting going out and putting my face into some uplifting books. Practicing eating control and healthy habits along with practicing gratitude. I know this is easier said than done. But the last time I took a break from people and really just took time to myself I came out of it the most positive version of myself. Ultimately, thats who I want to be all the time.

For any of you feeling lack of motivation and depressed feel free to comment any suggestions on what has worked for you. I am definitely interested in hearing your thoughts.

xo

- Vanessa