The cycle of Depression & Overcoming it.

I think I deleted my very first post on depression I had been dealing with when I was about 20 years old. By the time I was 21 I had pretty much centered my mind and come out of it. I was pretty happy and positive for a while. Then at some point maybe about a year or two ago I find myself going in and out of this depression. I ask myself how I go from this happy, energetic and loving person. To this bitter, down, self conscious and unhappy person. It has nothing to do with the people in my life.. that I know. So what is it?

I am still not entirely sure. But I know this is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. I want to be the positive optimistic anything is possible always grateful person I once was. But how?

Depression hinders a lot. Although, it may seem like an excuse or something you can easily get over its not. Holding your breath randomly throughout the day and having to remind yourself to breath is also a part of anxiety that comes with depression. That is something I do often. I'm finding that I stress eat causing me to gain wait and preventing me from being the positive health role model I aspire to be. Reality is sometimes I have my life together and when I'm happy I AM HEALTHY; and other times I do not have my life together. Therefore, I am stressed and I eat things I know will not add to the wellbeing of my body.. not to mention the ridiculous weight gain. I lose interest in things that typically interest me. Such as, creating youtube videos, dressing cute and also posting those, taking selfies, experimenting with make up, experimenting in the kitchen, going out with friends and much more. I just feel like doing nothing. I find myself making excuses for myself. Although, I know I know better.

How do I plan on overcoming this..?

First, I plan on taking a social break. Limiting going out and putting my face into some uplifting books. Practicing eating control and healthy habits along with practicing gratitude. I know this is easier said than done. But the last time I took a break from people and really just took time to myself I came out of it the most positive version of myself. Ultimately, thats who I want to be all the time.

For any of you feeling lack of motivation and depressed feel free to comment any suggestions on what has worked for you. I am definitely interested in hearing your thoughts.

xo

- Vanessa

Slim down series: veggies soup!

This is my favorite way to kick start my diet. Still giving my body food and making my stomach less puffy. This works for me and I'm just sharing what I like to do. Please check with your doctor before starting any new diet plan.

Veggie soup!

Ingredients 

Celery- half stock 

Carrots- half bag organic carrots about 4-5 carrots peeled 

Zucchini- 2 chopped 

Half yellow onion 

-coconut oil (table spoon at bottom of pan)

Himalayan pink salt to taste 

Pepper to taste and Cheyanne pepper to taste.

Low sodium organic vegetable brother 2 cartons (shown in video) 

Chop up all ingredients and let heat up on low in the pan as you chop. I find it adds more flavor to the soup. 

Add some of your salt and pepper 

Then add 2 cartons of your vegetable broth 

Bring to a light boil and you are done!!!

Cooks for about 30-40 min depending how did you like your veggies.

I like to add lemon to my soup per serving.

This amount typically last me 3 days. 

I like to have in addition to a light salad.

But on "detox days" I just have two bowls lunch and dinner. Feel free to add chicken or any other veggies you like. 

Hope you enjoy. Xo

SlimDownSeries: Essentials

Here are some links to things I find are needed to jump start and follow along with me. 

I have purchased all of these Items myself and feel that they work best for me. 

so far I love my new scale and ill be giving you guys my first weigh in next week. 

Essentials

Number 1. Reliable scale. Body fat on a scale isn't always accurate so I wouldn't worry too much about that. but having a scale that will give you consistent readings is important and not change based on how you lean or stand. 

Health-o meter professional body fat scale here

Match green tea or oolong tea. I've mentioned this plenty of times that I noticed a big difference while drinking tea. Helps speed up the metabolism and release fat from the body.

Monkey picked oolong is sold at teavana stores if you have on near you. 

Monkey Picked Oolong here

Matcha green tea is also sold at teavana stores if you have one near you.

Matcha green tea has vitamin C, A, K, E b12 and b12 complex. the number one part of the body it helps burn fat from in the stomach.

Matcha green tea here

Regular Green tea

Green tea

Water container. I always use BPA free if I am not using a water bottle. This is easier to refill. 

Water container

This is just the start. 

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist or professional. I share my experiences and knowledge I have gained through my own personal trial and error. I like these things and keep them in my day to day life. I am just here to share with those who are looking for something new.

can't wait to share more. xo 

vanessa. 

There is always something to be grateful for...

I just read a friends blog (spilledmilkandmascara via Wordpress) as I literally got done crying in my car on my lunch break over things that are rough at the moment. I'm not going to lie this month financially was tougher than others have been this year.. And in two weeks I'll be out of work for two months. So I am a little overwhelmed and feeling all of what I lack currently in life.& that's not me. In my moment of crying and being frustrated I thought to myself, "I am someone who who helps people in these situations." And then more tears came. 

Going back and forth with positive thoughts then negative thoughts and things I should be grateful for, clothes on my back, car, and clean water to drink... My mind still filled up with lack, what I do not have in this moment, what is causing me stress in this moment. 

I picked up the closest book to me in my car and opened it to a page.. Where there just so happened to be a prayer.. That read...

Dear God,

I know that you are bigger than my business/financial problems, but by myself I cannot fix this. 

Please guide my thinking, open my heart and send me a miracle.

Amen

I felt a little better after reading that.. And then seeing her blog 52 weeks of gratitude minutes after. She issued herself a challenge to share what she is grateful for for 52 weeks. In this moment I had to stop myself and say I have so much to be grateful for. Regardless of what my current circumstances are I know they are very very temporary. This is a good moment for me to not forget why remaining grateful in tougher times is so important. This will pass, this has no reflection on who I am and at some point everyone goes through it. 

So even though I'm feeling pretty damn shitty.. 

Here are some things I would like to thank God for.

My outstanding health, thank you God. 

My home, thank you God. 

My supportive family, thank you God.

My supportive boyfriend, thank you God.

My jobs, thank you God! 

My supportive friends, thank you God.

My bed, toothbrush, hot showers, thank you God.

All of my material possessions, clothes, shoes, make up. Thank you God! 

Paying all of my bills on time, thank you God!

My ability to see, taste, touch, hear and smell. Thank you God!

For all of the people who watch and support my YouTube channel and allow me to inspire them, thank you God. 

My books, thank you God!

For all new experiences that will allow me to grow, learn and prosper. Thank you God! 

There is always something to be grateful for. No matter what you are in the middle of. 

Xo

-Vanessa 

#DearMe ….

I saw this going around on youtube for international women's day and although I don't have time to film a video I love this concept. What advice would I have given my younger self or what wisdom would I share.. Well here is goes.

Dear Me,

  At this time in your life it feels like it is going to stay like this forever. The acne, the crush that never likes you back, the weight and low self esteem. You are not ugly. Stop asking God "why am I so ugly".. open your eyes and embrace yourself. Those girls that call you names and bark at you while you walk the hallways to your class will soon disappear and not phase you at all. You will grow into a beautiful woman and flourish beyond your current imagination. I know this seems weird and out of reach, but you will become someone you love. "What other people think of you is none of your business" Right now your only job in your life is to focus on yourself and what you want to become in this world. Leave the drama, leave the bad friends, the bad boyfriends and the things that don't make you happy. Seems hard? I know. Learn your worth. I know this is something you struggle with not feeling like you are worthy of good things or as if good things won't happen to you. These are the things you need to snap out of and push through. Don't worry, every pimple, every scar, every heartbreak every loss will sooner than later become something of the past, something you can look back at and laugh. Don't doubt yourself, your beauty and your worth. Everyday is an opportunity so with all thats going on in your mind good and bad don't miss out on the things that matter for the things that don't.

Take it from me. I know who you will become.

xo

_Vanessa

I struggled a lot growing up with self-esteem and knowing my place in this world, knowing my worth and not knowing if I would turn out okay. I haven't reached all my goals but I've reached a point where I am so proud of who I am becoming. & who I am becoming is beyond what I had imagined myself to be at the age of 12-13 years old.

To all the girls who are going through this now not feeling like they will be pretty enough, or worthy enough of good things stop yourself and know that many of us women have been where you are today. and many of us couldn't picture calling ourselves beautiful or happy.. & ill speak for myself when I say I was so wrong.

How I feel about waist trainers...

I honestly was the person that was like HELL NO to waist trainers; and to be honest I am still against it to aim to cinch your waist to an abnormal size. However, I did try one for the sake of trying and I will say if you get a size bigger they make a great sweat belt at the gym or while working out. AS LONG AS YOU CAN BREATH. I don't like feeling constricted. But with regular sweat belts they sometimes roll down and it can be annoying having to try and adjust it while working out. Since this targets your entire abdomen it seems to help. While working out this is something to test and see if it works for you not something I personally would wear all day long. Ill link an option below ;) and some other weight loss items.

BUY CORSET HERE

Help your digestion daily with Monkey picked oolong tea. I have talked about this for a long time and I have finally found a reasonable price for it compared to in store.

MONKEY PICKED OOLONG TEA

Slimhot pants. Sweat more= burn more. thats all i have to say haha

BUY SLIMHOT PANTS HERE

Hope this quick blog helps you guys out a bit.

This is NOT younique fiber lash mascara.

Hey Guys! 

I don't like to make another company look bad and this isn't what this blog is about. I actually have the Younique Fiber Lash Mascara and I liked it for a while but to be honest the fibers got everywhere and the two step having to go back and forth applying it wasn't really ideal for me. It still looks great and like I said I did like it but its definitely not an every day mascara for me. 

Then I found a ONE STEP.. YES ONE STEP mascara that gives the dramatic length without the fibers going all over the place and its just a simple concept. This one is from beauticontrol and I'm in love with it.  (left eye 4 coats dramatic lash. Right eye 4 coats of an expensive named brand mascara)

If you are a one step person like me that just likes to put your make up on and go you can contact me at vwatsonyt@gmail.com if you are interested in testing this one out. 

If you order by Thursday 2/19/2015 Ill pay the shipping cost which will bring you from $35 to $29 

I'm a false lash person but its not realistic to wear fake lashes every day so having a mascara that opens my eyes, and gives me long lashes in one simple sept is everything during the week :)